just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this hospital has no fireball
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
