I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
