Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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