i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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