just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
