chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
