The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
