I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
