His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we made out on top of his cat.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
