the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
