i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
