dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
