Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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