i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
