this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
