Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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