if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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