you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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