so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
