you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
