I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
