What a fucking waste of an outfit
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
