You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
