Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
