No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
