i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
