i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
