Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
