This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
