Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
