once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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