Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
