Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
