Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
