I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
