um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
