Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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