I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
