party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
