I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
