check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
4 words: hood of his car
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
