I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
