2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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