I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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