All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
did you just send me my own nude
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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