I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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