Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
