Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
