I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
