I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
