grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
