i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
